Let's get real, a new initiative to interview mother's who aren't necessarily in the spotlight. Giving them the chance to speak openly and answer questions about motherhood in a real and honest way. Because every mother's story needs to be heard.
Tell us who is in your beautiful family?
My husband Joel, 3 month old son Archie, dog Millie, cat Maggie and we also have three chickens!!
My husband Joel, 3 month old son Archie, dog Millie, cat Maggie and we also have three chickens!!
The quote “It takes a village” is used quite often. Did you have your own village to support you in the early days?
It is used a lot. And to be honest, I found it quite daunting...I didn’t know if I had a village to call on, but turns out I did! And I am so grateful. I had bought myself the book “The First Forty Days - The Art of Nourishing The New Mother” (the only book I have read in relation to pregnancy/motherhood) and worked hard to set myself up for my fourth trimester. My husband and girlfriends were so supportive and helped make this happen.
Have you found your tribe today?
With all our family living in New Zealand, my hubby and I are very independent and tend to look to each other for support. But we are surrounded by an amazing bunch of people, and I’m VERY lucky to be able to share my journey into motherhood with some of my closest friends.
At some point, have you felt like you have lost your identity during your time as a mother? If so, have you carved a new one?
Oh my gosh. YES. Wholly heck. It was so unexpected too. It hit me hard around week 3/4. I think one of the biggest things was I had no time for myself. I had to (still working on this) really let go of what I could do previously and adjust and, as bad as it may sound, “accept” this new life as a first time mum. I'm still working on letting go of life before having a baby, (not the partying or anything like that.. I am a bit of a Nanna!) but more the alone time, and the self care. I’m still carving my new identity. I know what I want it to look like and I’m trying to be patient whilst this evolves.
We all struggle with different aspects of motherhood. What is/was your biggest hurdle?
Work life balance for sure. This is a MASSIVE hurdle for me currently. I think it adds a different, or extra, level of guilt when it’s your own business, and it has totally kicked my arse. Another one is processing the massive amounts of guilt that comes and goes when discussing how Archie is doing with people. Not having my Mum or sister close by is really hard too, I miss them even more now that I am a Mum.
How does society’s portrayal of motherhood across social media and magazines make you feel?
I don’t know how well I can answer this one to be honest. I’m mindful with who I follow on social media, what images I look at, or stories that I read. I haven't really let anything like that in. I have good days and bad days and I definitely have my moments but I know every mum is different, every baby is different, every family situation is different. We just do what is right for us, and don't really care about what everyone else is doing. I know I’m on my own journey, and that's pretty empowering.
Describe doing the washing in one word?
Napisan!
You mentioned that maintaining a work/life balance is a struggle for you, how have you adapted your time for work to suit your new role as a mother?
I don’t have a job, but I’m running my online business from home. It requires a lot of screen time, with a huge social media focus (I’m sure every business can relate to that rabbit warren!) I now only do business stuff when Archie is asleep (alongside some household duties, but that pretty much takes a back seat until the weekend). Currently, Im trying to create a new habit that when my hubby walks in the door at night, my business day is done. I also try practice being present - that’s something I’m very conscious of and work on every day, which helps with keeping things balanced.
What’s something you wish someone told you about becoming a mother, that you would have helped you immensely?
I feel like I was told everything! I was told SO much, which can be a blessing...but also can be so overwhelming, which I definitely felt. Right from the beginning, I told myself to just do what feels right..."you do you" (some of my friends will laugh at this as I say it so often!) That has really been my game changer. Not just with motherhood but life in general.
Lastly, as this is an Astrology blog! What signs are in the family? And how do you all interact with each other?
Im an Aries, Joel is Libra and Archie is Aquarius.
Joel does a good job in levelling me out, or calming me down when I'm worked up...but only when I'm ready to accept his level-headed-ness 😄 Joel is seriously the most patient man I know.
Thank you Stacey for taking the time to answer these questions!
Stay tuned for our next interview, lets get real
Brooke
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